It's been a while, and it makes me wonder if I am supposed to be a writer. This blog needs to be exciting and more of what people would read but how do I find what y'all like. Who will read me? I have since left my apartment and now live with my parents again which lessens my freedom in so many ways. Even if I'm an adult there are just some things I can't do around my parents, I just can't be myself which is why I originally left and lived on my own. This past year I've been missing a lot of work but it's been due to my health.
I was diagnosed with stage two cancer in my ovaries and had to remove them. I am not exploring options for children but not actively, just research-based searching for now. It's a lot to consider, and seeing as how we can't afford rent, how will we afford children? Having a child is expensive, why is adoption so much more expensive?
I am also writing a memoir of my past two years just so I can process it all because that's the only way I can take a step back from it and look at it. When you are stuck in the middle of the storm it feels calm but you truly have no clue how dangerous it is.
I really want to become more creative but I'm unsure and kinda stuck as to where to go. How to let your creativity flow when there is the weight of grief holding you down. It's like the rain and sun with no rainbow. Back to the eye of the storm.
I was living with my boyfriend and we had to move back out to our parents so we could pay off bills. My medical bills have been stacking non-stop one thing after another. The crazy thing is I get so many likes on my Go Fund Me but I never receive donations anymore. I wonder if it's worth keeping up but eventually someone will think that they can help. No one talks about how hard it is to ask for help but oh my god it's so awkward and weird and people are in your business and it's just weird, but what choice do you have?
On another note
Would you read a memoir by me? >.< I really want to see if it's worth publishing besides me just writing it out. a lot of me has doubts about this like no one would want to see what I have to say. This is just for me to process the whole cancer bit. Not sure how to promote it but I think it will be interesting if nothing else.
I'll make a new post describing more of the cancer bit
